Then what is mediation?
Mediation is a voluntary, cooperative conflict resolution process in which parties make all the decisions regarding participation, information sharing and outcome. The mediator's role is to guide the process so as to foster mutual understanding of all participants' concerns, interests and needs. The mediator is a neutral third party who does not decide any substantive issues for the parties and does not provide legal advice or therapy.
How does elder mediation work?
Introduction: Once all those involved decide to give mediation a try, an initial session is scheduled with the selected mediator. With the mediator's assistance, participants review how mediation works, make a final decision as to who should participate, negotiate how the fees will be divided, if appropriate, and clarify any questions. Participants agree on guidelines for how to proceed, for example, only one person speaks at a time, treat each other courteously, etc. All participants then sign an agreement to mediate.
Information Sharing: All participants have the opportunity to share information from their own perspectives and describe their desired outcomes.
Defining the issues and understanding interests: The participants discuss difficult issues that need attention, their feelings about the issues that need attention, from their own.
Generating options toward a solution: The participants generate and evaluate options that will best satisfy their needs and interests.
Writing the Agreement: If agreement is reached, the mediator will help the participants write their agreement, as an outline for agreed upon future action. Agreements can state that a specific plan will be implemented for a trial period, then evaluated for effectiveness. Future meetings can be scheduled in the agreement to reevaluate any changes in the elder's situation and to incorporate appropriate changes into the agreement. All participants are encouraged to consult their attorneys before signing the agreement.
Why is elder mediation effective?
Elder mediation provides a safe environment in which each person is allowed to speak without interruption and explain his or her concerns fully. The neutral mediator helps all participants to communicate clearly and be heard accurately. Participants are aided in expanding their thinking to create an individualized plan for their unique situation, often allowing for the least restrictive for the elder. The opportunity to voice complaints, receive an apology, and better understand specific behaviors can help participants release emotional distress and redirect their focus to resolution.
How do I get started with elder mediation?
If you are a party to the conflict, just call for information. If you are a professional or service provider aware of a conflict, but not a party in the dispute, you may call for a generic, free initial consultation. With your client's/resident's permission, you may provide the mediator some key details and case development will begin. This mediator obtains each party's permission to speak with them about possible elder mediation.
Is elder mediation just a fad? Why haven't I heard of it before?
In the early 1900's, life expectancy in the U.S.A. was only about 50 years. If you were born in 2000, your life expectancy is 76.9 years. If you turned 65 in 200, statistics show you could live an average of 17.9 more years. Think how quality of life issues have evolved in the last 100 years. What happened to the concept of extended families caring for their elders? Who knew that today there would be long-term care insurance, aging-in-place, Alzheimer's disease, assisted living facilities, adult day care, rampant drug and alcohol addictions affecting families, grandparents raising grandchildren, families spread out all over the country and the world? In 1900, healthcare advance directives, living trusts, hospice care and end-of-life options were not topics of family conversation. "Baby Boomers" weren't born yet. And there was no "elder mediation", per se. Negotiation and mediation were used historically for handling conflicts with in a tightly interwoven community or tribe. Tribal elders served as "mediators" and many traditions and face-saving customs were an integral part of resolving conflict in generations past. Mediation has become a frequently used method for resolving current day conflicts in a less adversarial, collaborative way in the U.S.A. and other countries of the world. But it is only recently that elder mediation has become a specialized new area of mediation. Families, eldercare providers and professionals are becoming increasingly aware of the benefits when elders, their families and others in their lives use elder mediation in negotiating the obstacle-like choices to be made as we age. It is definitely not a fad, and has arrived on the scene just when the graying of America if accelerating.
